Vacancies:

Full time English native speaker: 25-30 hours, €13 per hour (minus tax), accommodation organised – €260 with bills.
Full time Polish tutor of English / English Native: €13 per hour (minus tax), accommodation available if needed.

We are currently hiring for a full time teaching position at our school starting from the beginning of October. If you think you have what it takes to throw in the towel on your perpetual, meaningless existence? I dare you.

Let me envisage your current working nightmare:

You wake up Monday morning, let’s say around 6 am with a slight, fuzziness from what was supposed to be a few medicinal beers to alleviate the Saturday bender that is already causing you sleepless nights. Your eyes are lit up but the body is a numb, rigid vessel. You struggle to lift your heavy legs and drag your sorry ass into the shower to begin what will be a ghastly day at the office.

Sound familiar? It gets worst…

You dress quickly in bedraggled shirt hoping no one will notice. You dash downstairs to brew what will be the first of a number of heavy-duty, swamp-like cups of coffee to steady the dreariness. Opening the door, you see what can only be described as horizontal rain blasting your face as you push up against it with a tattered umbrella. The car doesn’t start. You try it again. YES! Your luck fades as you turn a corner into heavy traffic. You jack up google maps and look for an alternative route. You find one and turn down it on two wheels, eventually weening through a back alley that looks like the Bronx gone stale. Obviously, the re-routing causes an additional 15 minutes of lateness and you stroll into the office coolly – you think.

Your boss notices. He notices everything. His beady, hawk like irises compute and absorb every imperfection that can be resoundingly tallied up as honest mistakes. This man loathes people. Mentally storing everything against you to cause you suffering and demean your progress in life. He is the scourge of humanity who sucks out people’s souls to counter-balance his own misery, insecurities and unfulfilled ambition. He approaches…

“Heavy weekend?”

he whispers insinuatingly out of his snake like mouth as he slimes up to you “That’s 3 black spots against your name for improper punctuality”. “2 more and it’s a yellow card”.

You smirk and turn into your tiny, box-like, work-space that is littered with paperwork. You pile into the chaos; crunching numbers, inputting data and making calls. Hopelessly flirting with the receptionist brings some respite, regardless that you know she just isn’t bothered and so far up her own ass. 10 hours pass. The only impasse is to re-fill the swamp-like liquid for the seventh time and grab a quick bite. The silver cloud being that 10 hours seem like 4 and your boss seems to have found a weaker victim to harass. You escape out of the door unseen and head for take-out due to your fridge growing things that should be quarantined. You gobble down whatever hipster meal is being served up from the local joint. The evening closes with you staggering home to collapse on your sofa 13 hours later. Before passing out you insist on scrolling through Netflix to choose some American series that is, simply put, just shit. You pass out.

Tuesday – Repeat.

Less fuzziness and more traffic. More repulsive bossiness.

Wednesday. Repeat. Again.

You weep in a toilet cubicle. You’re so busy and exhausted of covering other people’s workloads and receiving little praise that you can’t contain it.

Thursday. Repeat. Again; and again.

You receive your salary. It’s reasonable, but you’ve been docked for your tardiness. You try and go running to lift your mood, but end up meeting friends in the boozer beating any serotonin boost hands down.

Friday. Finally, a slight reprieve.

But your boss is even more noxious knowing that his empty life won’t be satisfied for two days. A  happiness fills you that your suffering will be temporarily on hiatus.

Saturday.

You sleep a depressing, hard sleep.

It doesn’t get any better, does it?

We’re not offering a paradise here at Quaderno, teaching is a graft but it’s fulfilling. If you want the opportunity to be hoisted out of that kind of grind to refocus your goals, we can offer an alternative. You don’t need to be a linguistical genius but you need to be literate, love words and language. You’re possibly an avid reader, like to talk and can entertain people. More importantly, you have energy to burn and want to help people learn.

The South of Poland is thriving, you could say partly because of the E.U, sure, but also because of the Poles’ insatiable desire to work and learn. Mikołow is a quaint little town 30,000 strong and 15 km from Katowice, a rejuvenated industrial hub, which is jumping at night and full of little cultural gems during the day. Krakow, Wrocław, Vienna, Budapest, Prague, Berlin and Bratislava are all within an 1-5 hour striking distance by train. Polish seasons are usually a contrast; hitting +30/ -30 over summer and winter. From Mikołow, the Beskid mountains are a one hour drive and if you’ve never skied or snowboarded this is your opportunity to learn on a budget. I imagine snowboarding is a bit like surfing, it’s a way of life – “Whoaaahh mann, it’s like totally out there, I was absolutely shredding the shit out of the this epic dump when I caught a sick mogul, you hear me, braaa”. But, when it does finally bite, after a hefty slog of falling face first into the snow and enduring a combo of severe pain and partial frostbite. You actually find yourself standing on your feet watching the mountains go by in a tantalizingly, translucent flash – you’ll never let go – it’s magic, sincerely. One week’s holiday in the Alps just won’t be enough to quench the thirst.

And then there’s the Polish and Czech beer…

Have a wee ponder and contact me with your resume on the above email. Change is hard. No regrets this side.

Alex

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